The girl they whispered about
Let me tell you about the girl I was. I was an honor roll student, all through school. I did most things right, most things my parents asked. And the one and only time I ever snuck out of my parents' house, I came back with a baby.
The laughing stopped after that. The whispers started. Church folks do not have to say one word to your face for you to hear everything they are saying. I felt it walking in. I felt it sitting down. I know what a wrong look can do to somebody, how it pushes people out the church doors, because the whispers I heard had my name in them. By the grace of God, I stayed. A whole lot of people get theirs and leave. And I understand why.
I carried shame for years. Shame for myself, for what I felt I put on my parents, for what my community thought. Every degree, every certification, every promotion, part of me was trying to earn my way out of it.
But God is a forgiving God. He forgave me before I ever forgave myself. And here is what I did with that forgiveness. I did not just feel it. I built on it.
I stepped up and paid the price
My parents never had to buy my son a diaper. Not one. I read to my son every chance I got, and he made honor roll all the way through school, the same honor roll I was on. Manners, respect, and character were not suggestions in my house. They were the standard. Every Christmas we adopted a child, and I took my son shopping to buy gifts for somebody else's baby, because giving is not caught. Giving is taught.
Today, that baby I brought home, the one the whispers were about, is a military veteran who served his country as a sergeant, and he now serves his community at the fire department.
That did not happen just because I loved him. Every parent loves their children. It happened because I put structure around that love. Reading had a rhythm. Manners had a standard. Giving had a system. Love was the fuel. Order was the vehicle. Inspiration alone did not raise my son. Instruction did.
Why your church is no different
People come through church doors looking for community and belonging. That is a God given desire. And if they do not find it in the church, they do not stop looking. They just look somewhere else. The streets never miss a follow up. The world has a system for the people the church forgets.
The church does not have an inspiration problem. We have inspiration for days. Every Sunday the room is full of it. What we are missing is instruction. Written down. Handed off. Followed through. Inspiration fills the room on Sunday. Instruction is what covers people on Tuesday.
You are not disqualified because things are messy right now. I know what shame whispers. It says it is too late to get organized. It says if you open those books and those files, everybody will see how bad it has gotten. Shame is a liar. You do not have to earn your way to order. You just have to start.
Love without a system leaves people uncovered. Love with a system builds a legacy. One of those raised my son. The other one is what I bring to your church.